My Face…

  
This is my face when I have a few reaaaaallllly good conversations with #someonenew and then discover that THAT’S all they got. 

Oh. 

Forrrreal? Okay…great. Thanks. #Buhbye 

*sigh*

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Ramblings of OneBlackWoman #20160211

Today is day two of what I pray will be a period of growth and development…in Christ. This Lenten season will be different from others. Can’t wait to see how. 

I’m snuggled into one of my favorite places — my bed — and, am taking a moment to capture some of the thoughts of the day. 

  1. Life teaches some very difficult lessons. Unfortunately, for me…I’ve been a slow learner on many occasions. Recently someone that I (foolishly) ‘carried a torch’ for has seemingly found love. And, while I do wish him/them the best, hearing him speak on this underscored for me how utterly stupid I’d been (trying to be and do what only God could do in his life). All in the name of friendship. When, in actuality…the cost of that lesson was more than I could afford. 
  2. Sometimes, God does allow you to witness the ‘downfall’ of those who may have mistreated you. I received some news today about an individual who has, for 5+ years been a source of griefangstfear for many. It wasn’t good news, either. Interestingly enough, I didn’t find joy in it. I didn’t shed a tear either. I *did* thank God for His saving grace doe. Coulda been me…believing in my power instead of His. 
  3. I must be gentle with me. I have reached a point on this journey where pausing and loving on me is no longer an option. It is a requirement. I’m not sure how I missed this lesson, but…LovA 4.4 is intent on mastering it. More naps. More new experiences #Just4Me. More saying NO to what doesn’t serve me. More peace. 

So. Yeah. Happy Thursday, indeed. 

Be well. 

Love from LovA😘

His way…

Self-work is some of the hardest, yet absolutely necessary, work we do. Most of us find it uncomfortable 😖 to take a realistic look at who we are and who we know we’re called to be. 

God has an uncanny (or so it seems to my little mind) way of showing us allllllll of the ways — and, there are countless — that we’re really not all that. 😳 #YesISaidThat

Allowing Him to work on us will always reveal the areas in which we need to grow uP, be better and just #DoItDifferently. 

The amazing thing is that He does this lovingly. Gently. And, in a manner we can handle. (Cuz. He kinda knows how much is too much, right?) At no time, while under his corrective hand do we have to feel defeated. Or hopeless. #ThatsNotHowThisWorks

No. Nawl. Nope. The way my God is set up? He walks beside us, holds our hand and picks us up when the weight of it all is just…#TewMuch. 

💯 here for it. 

#LoveFromLovA

i wonder why…

(NOTE: This was originally posted elsewhere 1/8/2008; grateful for the growth.)

…when He shows me time and time again — that He’s got my back like no other — I still act like I don’t know?
…I seek ‘help’, ‘advice’ and ‘words of encouragement’ from all other sources of ‘help’ first — knowing that He is the only one that can REALLY do anything about my situation?
…when things take a turn, for the better or the worse, I run from or to Him? Why am I not walking with Him at all the times?

…I doubt His ability to do what seems to me an impossibility?
I don’t know why.

What I do know is that it’s insulting. To Him.

Real Talk: In this new year of my life, I will work hard at putting that FAITH into MOTION. That’s what it’s there for, right?

The F Word

How many times have you heard someone say: “Just have faith.”?
Too many to count, I am sure.
Having grown up in an environment filled with all-things-Christian, I’ve heard that simple command stated often. Effortlessly, even. Whether by family members, church-goers, friends or co-workers…nearly everyone has allowed these words to roll off of their tongue at some point. Interestingly enough, however, we humans aren’t nearly as adept at being FAITHFUL in our daily walks. So, it is safe to say that there is nothing effortless about having faith. Or, is it? (I know, I know, I know…you’re probably thinking, LovA has lost her ever-lasting mind. That may be true, but   I’m still making a valid point! LOL!)
Now. Anyone who is anyone and has attended just one Sunday School class in their lifetime knows the Hebrews 11:1 definition of faith #backwardsandfrontwards. I’ve always believed that we were given this trusty definition as a tool for our impending struggles in life. But, for me? As an adult? The real-life application of that is sooooooooo much more than those fifteen (yes, I counted) words.
If we walk around TALKING about having faith…it stands to reason that at some point, God is going to require a demonstration of said faith, right? Right. Seems fair.
Over the last six or seven weeks, I have done A LOT of thinking…reflecting…self-analysis…etc. For those of you that know me, you understand fully the enormity of this statement. *cheese*  I have found myself in a situation that has required MORE OF ME. A health issue popped up and in this time of research and discovery, I have gained a new appreciation for that word — FAITH. (Funny how that works, eh?)
See, up until a couple of weeks ago, my mind was doing more than its fair share of playing out the various #WHATIFs. Admittedly, most of the scenarios were leaning toward the negative side of the house. I kept trying to remain positive, but, inevitably some doubtful ‘piece of something’ would sneak back in and there I’d go again.  Honestly? It got rather ridiculous.
It wasn’t until I stumbled upon a new Twitter follow that I was put in check. I read the following tweet and everything stopped moving. #literally
photo
Yes, @pwillie1, or the Lord working through him, is responsible for my return back to what’s real. While the entire tweet was beautiful, it was the portion in the red box that caused my heart to skip a beat and realize that I had been behaving foolishly. I read this a couple of times and found myself staring at it like…really? It’s that easy? Why, yes, lil LovA…yes, it is. The same amount of energy that it takes doubting the success of a thing can be easily transferred to having faith in that same success. It really is your choice. God does not want us worrying about things about which we have no control. That is simply, WRONG. Additionally, I believe that the key part of real faith is trusting Him to take care of you — regardless of the outcome. *gulp*
There are two things that have kept me right-minded since. One is the Serenity Prayer which states simply: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and, the wisdom to know the difference.”  The other is Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Together, these remind me that today is the day in which I should focus my energy…and, leave the rest in the hands of the man who holds it.
Effortless, indeed.

don’t. look. down.

don’t look down.

i read this in a book last week. it was couched in betweenXT the author’s story about how he got down a scary ski slope by NOT LOOKING DOWN. nevermind that he wasn’t supposed to be on it in the first place.

interesting, no? the story, while inspiring, had nothing to do with skiing. at least to me. for me. this simple command resonated with me so deeply because i’ve been guilty of doing so. more than once, even.

yes. looking, down…around…back…everywhere except FORWARD and UP. hmph.

i’m not going to pretend to wax something poetic on the topic of life. i can’t. i don’t know enough. too ignant. not enough experience. simply, #unable.

what i am going to do is…share. write. talk. to myself, if need be.

recent weeks have found me in spot that i haven’t been in in…ever. i was going to say ‘in a long time’, but this is an “in ever” moment. i continue to be challenged professionally in my efforts to land in “the spot” where i’m supposed to be. some days the conclusion i reach is that that may be something more fluid for me. like…finding the right gig for me right now. that doesn’t make sense though, does it? almost sounds irresponsible. and, far be it from this capricorn to sound (or be) irresponsible. but. i am no longer willing to say what i will and won’t do…will and won’t try. in recent weeks some opportunities have fell in my lap that remind me why each new day is…a gift. i’m open.

and, this? only works if i don’t…look…down. the view is simply too scary.