it’s been a long time since i have felt the need to ‘hurry up and get the week over with’…but, this is exactly how i’ve felt. all week. and, i don’t know why. i’ve been extremely tired. and, unable to focus on anything. like. ANYTHING. but, i have had some good conversations that were long overdue. so, for that? i’m grateful. (just one of the many things, i might add!)
the days since my last blog post have been filled with:
- a family reunion (which was muy successful, if i do say so myself)
- a chance encounter with a thurrrrsty dude (9 calls in 48 hours? yah. um. NO.) disguised as a potential candidate for entry into my world (more on that in another post)
- a jam-packed three days of database management work (exciting, eh?);
- a rejection email from a company that i was trying to convince myself i wanted to work for;
- an 2:45 a.m. awakening by a super handsome police officer to inform me that a drunk driver had hit my parked car;
- a great convo followed by yet, another display of thurrrrst (poetry and we haven’t met yet? yah. no.) with another brotha looking to fill out an application;
- an awesome brainstorming session with my oldest friend in life on some uber exciting stuff coming up (can’t say more ret nah *wink, wink*);
- and a myriad of other interesting moments that my God has allowed me to witness;
and, yet…i must admit to this week feeling just a bit…off. goals weren’t met. tasks remain incomplete and…guess what? i kindasorta don’t care. *shrug*
ha! who am i kidding with that last line? anyyyyyyone that knows “lova”, knows that my overly analytical (see? i have no problem admiting my character flaws) mind has been trying to identify ‘the why’ for this…sense of blahness. can’t find one. so…i’ll just ride it out. let it do what it’s gonna do.
but, i have ‘learned a lesson’: sometimes you just have to BE. IN. THE. MOMENT. (if that ain’t some oprah sounding ish) i admit…i kinda suck at that. i spend a lot of time…A LOT…on the move. to the next destination. the next project. the next event. the next meeting. the next _____ (you name it and i’m probably on my way there).
wellllp. i’ve found myself unable. like. literally. shutdown. don’t wanna.
i am going to spend some time (can’t say how much…i’m far to fickle to commit to something like THAT! *giggle*) re-centering and simply being still. and, knowing.