Ramblings of OneBlackWoman #20160211

Today is day two of what I pray will be a period of growth and development…in Christ. This Lenten season will be different from others. Can’t wait to see how. 

I’m snuggled into one of my favorite places — my bed — and, am taking a moment to capture some of the thoughts of the day. 

  1. Life teaches some very difficult lessons. Unfortunately, for me…I’ve been a slow learner on many occasions. Recently someone that I (foolishly) ‘carried a torch’ for has seemingly found love. And, while I do wish him/them the best, hearing him speak on this underscored for me how utterly stupid I’d been (trying to be and do what only God could do in his life). All in the name of friendship. When, in actuality…the cost of that lesson was more than I could afford. 
  2. Sometimes, God does allow you to witness the ‘downfall’ of those who may have mistreated you. I received some news today about an individual who has, for 5+ years been a source of griefangstfear for many. It wasn’t good news, either. Interestingly enough, I didn’t find joy in it. I didn’t shed a tear either. I *did* thank God for His saving grace doe. Coulda been me…believing in my power instead of His. 
  3. I must be gentle with me. I have reached a point on this journey where pausing and loving on me is no longer an option. It is a requirement. I’m not sure how I missed this lesson, but…LovA 4.4 is intent on mastering it. More naps. More new experiences #Just4Me. More saying NO to what doesn’t serve me. More peace. 

So. Yeah. Happy Thursday, indeed. 

Be well. 

Love from LovA😘

worth missing…

so.

if you know me, you know that i am a huge fan of the twittah. (got that from one of my #twitterati homies) well, last night, one of the many talented people that i follow, tweeted the following statement:

“be worth missing.”

simple statement, right? right. but, it’s usually the simple, small things that have the biggest impact, no? ok, so what does that mean, exactly? (yah, yall know i can rarely go with ‘face-value’. lololol!) but, seriously…what kind of person is ‘worth missing’? some folks may be thinking on a surface level — like what tangible items a person may provide. but, for me…a person WORTH missing is one that provides a benefit on a far-deeper level.

and, as it turns out, this simple, yet powerful directive, is a secret life-goal of mine. yes, i strive daily to be the type of person that is missed. and, while this may seem egotistical, that is not at all how i mean it.

living your life in such a way that EVERYONE with whom you have contact is positively impacted is…HUGE! leaving people better than you find them is a challenge i think more people should take on.

cuz, see…life and its twistsNturns often leave people feeling beat up and hopeless. i know i have felt that way mannnnnny times. however, it has never failed that GOD placed someone in my path that allowed me to recall, regroup and refocus. and, for that? i’m thankful. overwhelmingly so.

commercial break –> contrary to popular belief, we’re not here for our own pleasure. sorry. i know that may disappoint some, but…we’re not. building GOD’s kingdom (via His people) is the ultimate job description for which we all have been hired. but, alas…i digress. #moreonthatatanothertime <– back to our regularly-scheduled program

when we go about our daily lives not caring about anything other than what WE have going on…i kindasorta think we’re missing the mark. i know i always feel better after i’ve allowed my heart to connect with another’s.

now, i know…sounds hokey, right? yah. whatever. i’m not referring to a huge, involved entanglement in another person’s affairs. in fact, that’s just nosiness. (#vaultismadvocate) what i AM taumbout is simply letting our peeps know that they have our support and that we genuinely want the best for them. this is a beautiful thing. simply put, it’s what’s hoTTT in these streets.

so, um…yah. MY peeps will know that EYEcare.com.

cuz…well…i’m tryna be found worthy.

friends…

[originally posted 8.29.06 on my other blog]
Xanga…watz up witcha? I know itz been an insane amount of time since last I posted. The funny thing is…I don’t even have a good reason for not doing so. My spirit jez wasn’t moving me to do so, I guess. At any rate, I had a thought that I’d like to share.

I’m sick of the word ‘FRIEND’.

There I said it.

This word is the most OVERWORKED word in the English language. Yeah…yeah, it is…cuz I said so.

The following are just a few reasons why I hate the word:

1. It carries multiple meanings & connotations which rarely will be interpreted the same way by any 2 people.

2. It is used incorrectly & ‘loosely’ by people who have no other word to describe their human interactions.

3. In the dating arena it has become a ‘catch-all’ term describing any variety of engagement w/the opposite sex. (Yep, from “…girl, you know you like a play cuzin…” to “…girl, you need to quit playin’ and gimme some, cuz I’m…”! Right.)

4. Its overuse in our society causes people to be misled, feel betrayed, misunderstood, etc. because people have expectations of their FRIENDS. So, when those expectations are left unfulfilled, folks often do what? *LOSE* FRIENDSHIP. (Now, I wanna know how you lose something like a friendship? I mean, it’s not a pair of socks…so WTH???!!!)
5. The fifth, and singlemost reason I hate this word is because eeeeeeevvvvrrrybody wants one — but, they don’t always wanna be one.

I don’t mean to come back to the Xanga family sounding bitter. But then again…do I really care how I sound? Hmmnn…not so much.

To those folks that I call Friend, know that I love you with all that I am…and, then some — cuz sometimes that might not be enough…

Latah…

I almost feel a little better now. Almost but not quite.

an-isl.jpg …from the lil’ whirlwind trip to couldfallinlovewithyou island.

i didn’t wanna go. in fact, i fought hard to find reasons why taking the trip was a bad idea. thought since the destination never appeared on my list of “go to places”, it would be a waste of my oh-so-precious time.

but, as is often the case — i was wrong.

once i landed, and deplaned ’stupidair’, i decided to relax and just ‘let my hair down’. making the conscious decision to enjoy myself was definitely a good one. i was able to discover many of the hidden treasures of the island — things only known to those who inhabited it daily. my heart was warmed many times by the sheer beauty of it all. as an added plus, i found the island to be interesting, funny and filled with a variety of new and exciting activities. all of this and great hospitality, too? yes. i was having a blast.

then…it started to rain.

the native islanders kept trying to reassure me that it would only last for a day or so. that is was just a seaonal thing that occurred from time to time.

but, ummmmnnn…nah…not so much.

days and days (and days) later, it was still be coming down. not pouring, just drizzling. (ya’ know…the kind that gets on your nerves — not enough for an umbrella, but enough to mess up your fresh ‘do…that shyt…ugh.)

this rain…totally unexpected. woke up from a nap and there it was.

the rain.

making the temperature muggy and uncomfortable. sending me to my air-conditioned room just so i could breathe.

the rain.

drinks too much and gets cock-diesel with it.

asks HIM, “why me?”, with a dejected spirit in tow.

doesn’t trust black women — while claiming to like, love, and want me so .

is consumed with the pain of a lost love, wayyyyyyyy deep in his soul.

and says ’sorry’ for things that really…can’t be controlled.

the rain.

*sigh*

yeah…seems my umbrella ain’t big enough.

or maybe…i just don’t like the rain…unless, something is being made in it — like love or mud pies.

so, i’m back.

resting.

in my own sunshine.

basking in the glory that is mine. mine? yep, MINE. from the one, to whom I say, “i am thine.”

i’m back.

wiser.

refreshed.

no regrets.

just grateful for the realization that…as nice as it was to get away, *that* island, just ain’t FOR me.

i just…

“Wanna Be Loved” © Jill Scott 2007

Mmmm…
Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t
Don’t,(don’t, don’t) don’t, don’t, don’t,
It’s bad, kno’ I mean?
It’s bad…
Sometimes it’s bad… (don’t)
Look,
Don’t feel no pity for me
Cause I’m going through a couple things,
Life means change,
That’s the way it goes, goes
All my life I had a constant burning
A strong deep, desire
An aching, ambiguous, yearning, yearning, yearning
For something better
For something bigger
For something wider
For something higher
And lots of regrets
Cause I ain’t seem to found it yet
I’ve been searching around the world
Never knowing what to expect
I get sad sometimes
Yes I be mad sometimes
Cause I’m out here on the grind
Making mine
And I still can’t seem to find
What I’ve been looking for
Opened so many doors
For real, yo
I just wanna be loved…

This is like…fiyah in my soul…right now.